Christian Hypocrisy

Dear Uncle Barbie,
With this year's presidential election coming up this fall, who do you think, platform wise, can and will do more for the GLBT community? In the past, the Democrats usually tend to support and speak up for minority groups. Do you think that the Democrats are all talk and no action? I wonder if at least talking about gay issues in a constructive, and not condemning or shaming way, is worth something. What do you think? I am afraid this Defense of Marriage Amendment is a slippery slope which will only serve to reduce everyone's rights, not just the gays. The right-wing Republicans don't seem to realize that when the rights of one group are diminished, than every man or woman is not fulfilling God's plan of love and equality for all. What do you think?
Signed, Sort of Decided, but Not Really Decided

Hello S.O.D.B.N.R.D.,
Politics, for most people, seems to have a negative association to it. Personally, I get very disheartened when I think about all of the corruption in governments--not just in the USA, but in all countries. When I was first old enough to vote, I was very optimistic, and believed that the politicians had our best interest at heart. Now I am not so gullible. (Then again, I also used to believe that all police officers were honest, too.) Boy was I green and innocent! The more information I receive about the current politicians running for office, the more I start to seriously wonder if they are here to serve the people or to serve themselves. It appears that most people running for office are more concerned with power, money, and maintaining their inflated egos then they are with helping the needy. (Have they forgotten that they are all supposed to be civil servants?) The lies, the backstabbing, the mudslinging, and hiding of information (in the form of sealed documents not open to the public)--it all seems too much to take.
  Your question asks, in part, if I think that the Democrats are all talk and no action. It is not quite that bad. I mean, the Democrats tend to be more humane and interested in those people who are less fortunate. However, they certainly do not follow through with all of their promises--neither do the Republicans. I hate to sound jaded, but I am getting used to broken promises. I guess what really gets me is the hypocrisy of it all. They say one thing, and then do another. For example, almost all of the politicians in the USA identify themselves as Christian. But do they really follow the loving teaching of Jesus? I don't think so. Loving your enemy does not mean launching a war and killing people. (Of course, our government does not refer to it as killing people; they call it eliminating the enemy.) What ever happened to turning the other cheek, not judging and loving your enemy, or are those no longer Christian concepts?
  Of course, who am I to judge the politicians; I am not a Christian, so I do not share their world view or perspective on things. However, I was raised in a Christian home, and it is there that I learned the meaning of the word hypocrisy. Please do not think that I am saying that ALL Christians are two-faced because I am not. What I am saying is that I have yet to meet a politician (Democrat, Republican, or Independent) who actually lives up to their Christian ideals. I strongly think that they simply use religion to get ahead in the game of politics. Do they go to church because they really want to get closer to their Creator, or are they simply trying to look good for the public? It is sad to say, but in my life, I have only met two people who I feel actually lived up to the Christian principles. I admire them deeply. If they would run for office, I would vote for them in a heartbeat!!! Well, you asked what I thought; there it is.
My Two Cents, Barbie

The Answer is Blowing in the Wind

Dear Uncle Barbie,
I have a female friend in the National Guard who is serving in the Middle East. I am very worried about her. I don't know if I am more worried about her because she is a girl or because she is my friend. I have been friends with her since high school. She is supposed to come back home after doing a tour of duty for a year. But the way things are going, who knows if that promise will be kept? Maybe she will have to stay longer. I email her all the time but have not received any messages back, so I sent her a few postal letters. However, I have not received even one correspondence from her. I want to know just one thing from you. What can I do to stop worrying?
Signed, Peace Maker

Hello Peaceful Person,
There are many, many people in this area (and throughout the country) who feel the same way you do. Perhaps you can take some comfort in knowing that you are not alone. I can't help but wonder if we are making things better or worse. It seems as if we are making enemies faster than we can kill them. On a personal note, I have a brother in the military, as well. Several months, after he was sent over to the Middle East, he emailed me and told me that, for the first time, he took a human life. He didn't give any details, however I could tell that he was quite shaken up by the situation. I know that my brother is a very sensitive person--he has been his whole life. I remember, even as a child, he would come into the house crying because he found a dying butterfly. I can only imagine how traumatizing it must be for him to have killed another human being.
  I am assuming that he was in a situation where he either had to kill the enemy or be killed. None the less, I'm sure it takes its toll on his conscience--trying to rationalize it in his mind. Many years ago, I had accidentally run over a puppy dog with my car. I still can picture it in my mind. The memory replays over and over again. How much more psychological stress would there be if it were a person? I believe all of the soldiers (male or female) need personal therapy to debrief from the war when they get back. War leaves a devastation of psychic rubble in its aftermath. To help you lessen your worries about your friend, try talking with other people who are also worried about their loved ones who are actively serving in the military. We can all lean on each other for emotional support. Worrying is a passive waste of energy. Do something positive with your energy.
Peace Out, Barbie

Gay Marriages

Dear Barbie,
I read in the papers and hear on TV about all the fears surrounding gay and lesbian marriages. Why is everyone so afraid? Is it something that they grew up fearing, or is it just irrational fear about the unknown? What gives?
Signed, Mr. Fearless

Hello Mr. Fearless,
Let's start off by looking at exactly what fear is. The vast majority of fears are learned through modeling the behavior of someone else who is acting afraid. However, a few fears are genetically based (like the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling). These instincts are inherent fears that exist in all humans. These are some of the ways that our internal warning mechanisms protect us. There are researchers who state that the unlearned instincts we have (which pertain to survival) may be genetically coded in our DNA. The belief is that certain important experiences are stored in our bodies. Some refer to this as "cell memory." These memories can be inherited by being passed down on a genetic level, therefore becoming instinctual traits. The good new is that instincts can serve you by alerting you to danger.
  On the other hand, the bad news is that unrealistic fears do not serve us because they are based on misinformation and ignorance. Since prejudicial fears (like homophobia and racism) are based on hatred and not founded on scientific facts, they are therefore unrealistic. Unrealistic fear is the opposite of love because that type of fear blocks trust; and trust is necessary for pure love to exist. Prejudicial fears stem from a lack of accurate information. Once a person truly understands another person, then prejudice seems to dissipate and new connections of commonality are built in its place. Put another way, if your fears are based on survival instincts, then go with them. If, however, your fears are based on anger and prejudice, then educate them. After all, fear grows out of not knowing. I have learned to trust my inherited instincts, not my unrealistic fears. So the next time you hear someone expressing fear regarding gay/lesbian marriages, just remember, if people can learn prejudice, they can unlearn it, too.
Respect Multiplicity, Barbie
Two Spirited

Dear Uncle Barbie,
I am an American Indian from a local tribe. I was thinking that I might have an alternative sexuality. I do not want to be different or separate from the others in my group. What should I do? 
Signed, Trying to Find My Place

Hello Trying Place,
In many ancient cultures (including Eskimo, Native American, and European-Pagan traditions) the people who were transgendered, bisexual, lesbian, and gay were considered spiritually gifted. They would take roles in the tribe such as being Shamans, medicine people, wise womyn, the counselors, and the ones who saw visions or spiritual dreams with messages of guidance for the rest of the community. These sacred people were commonly referred to as being two spirited and often held special healing energies. The title comes, in part, from the belief that people with sexual orientations other than heterosexual possessed blessed androgyny. This balance of having both feminine and masculine spirits gave birth to the term, two spirited.
  Does any of this strike a chord within your spirit? Individuals in the transgendered, bisexual, lesbian, and gay community are inherently spiritual people with special blessings and sacred gifts. However, everyone on Mother Earth is a sacred and spiritual being whether you are gay or not. This is our birthright - claim it!
Be Proud, Barbie

Snobbish Dykes

Dear Barbie,
Why do the lesbian women of this town have such attitudes - very strange? I always thought lesbianism meant women who love women.
Signed, Vi

Hello Vi,
Lesbianism means different things to different people. The term lesbian has no intrinsic meaning by itself. The meaning comes when you give it significance by attaching value to the word. It is important to remember that not all the lesbians in this area are alike. Try a different social group, organization, new friends, or fresh environment. Keep looking girl. You will eventually find your heart's desire as long as you are relentless in your seeking.
Merry We Meet, Barbie

Mother Nature Is A Tramp

Dear Uncle Barbie,
I am a shy Witch. I need a date, but am too chicken to find a date. What's a Witch to do?
Signed, Craft Single

Hello Craft Single,
Ya know, several people have asked me about how to find a mate - mostly during conversations with my fellow Pagans. However, only a few have actually sent in written questions to me. I am pleasantly surprised at the interest this topic is generating. Any hoo, I have a hard time picturing any Witch (female or male) being shy. The Craft has traditionally promoted self-empowerment. Find your inner-power. If you are shy, I suggest that you look to the Earth Goddess as a role model. She kicks ass! If you don't mine me saying so, Mother Earth has no problem getting laid. She will take it any way she can get it. Biologically speaking, nature spends most of its energy on trying to reproduce itself. If there is a moment when nature is not actively mating, it's busy raising young, and then getting ready to mate again. Don't believe those artistic images that our Christian society shows us (in magazines and posters) of a virgin Mother Nature dressed in pure white with butterflies circling her blonde head. Let's face it, Mother Nature is a tramp. If you really want to find a mate, listen to your animal instincts, and just let nature take its course. 
Witching You Well, Barbie

Religious Persecution

Dear Uncle Barbie,
I saw you doing another public appearance at a coffee shop this past weekend, and I was just wondering something. How do you handle all the social harassment for being both gay and Pagan? I have been slowly coming out of the closet for several years now, and I am still not totally out publicly. I have also recently discovered my spiritual path with Wicca. However, I have been hassled by my Christian friends for becoming a Pagan. I can only imagine how much more rejection I would run into if I came out of the broom closet to my family and coworkers. Is this whatÊall witches goes through when they reveal their religious preference? And I thought that coming out as a lesbian was difficult!!!
Signed, Mooncat

Hello Mooncat,
In recent years, the Pagan community has experienced many displays of religious persecution and hatred from so-called Christians. Self-righteous fundamentalists threaten to destroy our Pagan culture and take away our freedoms. Publicly acknowledged Witches/Pagans have been unjustly criticized in this town (and other cities) just for simply existing. It is at moments like these that we need to remember that now is the time for peace--not hate. I am not saying that we should tolerate hatred, but instead we need to counteract it spiritually with positive energy. The Giver of life (by any name) asks that we love one another and to lead by example.
  When I first came home to the Craft 12 years ago and had my first degree initiation into a coven, I despised the Christian religion that I was raised with because it had persecuted Pagans for so many years (and some Christians continue to do so). Interestingly, as I matured in my spiritual growth, I discovered that I did not need to verbally attack my previous religion in order to establish myself as being separate from it. Everyone has his or her own spiritual path in life, and all of us are at a different spiritual stage of development. That is why there are so many different religions in the world instead of just one. Every religion serves some purpose in helping others grow in their spiritual evolution.
  Whether it is religious persecution, racism, or homophobia, all forms of prejudice must be addressed and rectified. However, the people who hold prejudicial views must be treated with justice and love because to hate them back is to think and become like them! The Creator is pure love, so how can anyone spread hatred in Her name. No religion in the world says that it is okay to degrade or mistreat fellow human beings. As an ordained Pagan minister, I believe that we are on Mother Earth to love all living things. It is not our place to judge.
  So, Mooncat, the next time one of your Christian friends start to get on your case about being Pagan, just speak to them in words that Christians understand--Jesus said, "Let whoever is without sin cast the first stone." If we work to fight against prejudicial views with pure love, others may follow our example.
Goddess Bless You, Barbie

Is Jesus Listening?

Dear Barbie,
For a long time I really questioned if Jesus was the Son of God or just a brilliant philosopher. Then one day, I couldn't find my wallet. I said, "Jesus, please help me find it." Within seconds, I found it. What does this mean?

P.S. How do I get over my repulsion of Pentecostals?
Signed, Zo Zoe Zose Zadfrackglaz

Hello Zo Zoe...(whatever),
Yes, Jesus was a son of God, and so are you, and so am I. We are all sons and daughters of the God/Goddess. Take pride in that. Your prayer to find your wallet was answered because your Creator (by any name) loves you. As far as the Pentecostals go, everyone is on their own path. There are so many different religions (and not just one true religion) because people are at different levels in their spiritual stages of development with different needs. You follow your path, and let the Pentecostals follow theirs. One final note--as you are pondering on which deities to trust, just remember who will stick by you in the end. Jesus may damn you to Hell, but Uncle Barbie will ALWAYS love you. However, reading my advice column may make you feel like you're in Hell!
Bow to Me, Barbie